1.09.2013

Missing person alert: Me!



Happy 2013 Everyone!
I know I have been away for a while and thank you for standing by.

A new year brings new resolutions
new plans
new goals
new do's
new don'ts

The start of my new year brought me many changes.

One change being the realization that I don't find myself important.
Important enough to take time out of my day for ME

"I am so busy"
I say that all the time

But really what am I doing.

cleaning
laundry
organizing
making lesson plans
cleaning
laundry
cooking
being a mom
wife
teacher
cleaning..LOL

I have no time in my day that is carved out for me.
I stay up late to talk to my husband.. and I have to get up early early in the morning.
I sacrifice sleep to be a good wife
I sacrifice the last Reeses cup to be a good mom
I sacrifice time to be a good friend

but one thing I don't sacrifice for ...

is ME

I feel like I have hit a selfish streak in my blog posts.. but I think God is showing me that I am important too..not because of the things I do..but just being who I am and I can't be who I am if I don't take care of myself.

My husband once mentioned that I wasn't the "laid back country girl" that he once met..I took it one way..he said he meant it another..
I know that what he said was his way of telling me to slow down and chill
I took it as, "Great he hates me, He is already looking for someone else...We are DONE!"
Kidding..I didn't go to that extreme..but it did make me realize that I wasn't the girl he met

How could I be?
I have bills to pay now
a house to take care of
a child to raise
dogs to feed
a job

I live on schedules and time limits now

I have to be uptight, responsible, and structured

Don't I?

Is that how God intended my life to be lived?

on a time restraint

or does he want my life to be fully enjoyed
every minute
every second

He made me completely unique from everyone else in this world...
so why am I not being that unique person?

why am I caught up doing things that are nothing like me
running here
running there
losing patience
stressing out
comfort food eating
feeling bad about image
feeling sorry for myself

That isn't me!

I used to run just to enjoy the scenery and feel the sun
It felt good to sweat
I had the patience of Mother Teresa
I didn't even know what stress was besides the occasional boyfriend break up
I ate when I felt hungry
and I never felt sorry for myself.. I was proud of my life and where it was going

Time to turn the clock back
In 2013..I am finding ME!

Me
who likes to scrapbook
who likes to run
who isn't in a hurry all the time
who takes care of herself

I am finding that girl again
I don't know where she went..
or even where is at the moment

but I am searching for her
and she will be found!

So give me a virtual 'fist pump'
and I'm saying

Here is to finding ME in Twenty-Thirteen!

1 comment:

  1. Good for you, Nikki! I'm sure you have heard it before...but you can't be the good wife, good mom, or good friend you want to be if you are not taking good care of YOU first!

    ReplyDelete

It is so nice to know that I am not talking to myself. I love reading your comments and I try to respond to each and every one! Thank you for stopping by!