Floatin' down the river

Brewer Family Float Trip on the Illinois River

 

Look at this cutie in her life jacket and sunglasses...

That is how you pull off a life vest and make it look good.

I've only been floating one other time. It was when my husband and I were dating and we went with the church. He was still "chasing me" so he paddled the whole way and I just rode like Ariel in the Little Mermaid. It was a Southern Fantasy.

So I was excited to go again and this time take my daughter on a float trip.

You had a couple of options:

You could choose to have a raft, kayak, or a canoe.. we chose a canoe. Somehow I got in the back of the canoe which means you are the person that practically steers the whole boat.. which gave my husband a great opportunity to do some fishing while I was busy steering.
Honeymoon period.. Over!

Learned my lesson: Always get in the front of the canoe!

You could also choose to do a 6 mile float or a 12 mile float. Since we had the kiddo with us we chose the 6 mile. It almost felt like it was to quick.. we wanted to keep going. So next year we are going to try the 12 mile.

It was a great day. The weather could not have been any better. Summer in Arkansas is hot and sticky.. but that day it was nice and cool. Just Wonderful!

 

We packed a picnic lunch and some snacks so along the way when we would come across an area where we could pull the canoe up.. we would stop. We did some fishing, some relaxing, some snacking.. Just hanging out together. I found out my baby girl loved herself some Moon Pies.

Such a Southern girl!! 

 

I can't wait to go again next year. I will be in the front of the boat.. I will pack my own lunchbox of slim jims...and I will take it slower.. not worry so much about having everything we could possibly need.. and have a good time!!

 

Memories Made!



My humble opinion on Boston and our world

Today is a wonderful day here in small town Arkansas. The weather is beautiful, the birds are singing and you can smell the grass of freshly mowed lawns.

Needless to say "baby girl" and I have spent most of our day outside soaking in all this wonderful day has to offer. When we come inside for a drink or a rest .. I hop on Facebook or Bloglovin to see what is happening in the internet world. Every feed, every post, and picture is praying for Boston. I pray for Boston.

As I enjoy the wonderful day with my daughter I almost start to feel guilty because there are many people that aren't enjoying today. I feel scared and pure fear about what this world is going to be like when my daughter gets older. I fear sending her to school without me... or an assault rifle.. I fear about someone breaking in the house...I fear...
And everytime something like this happens..I feel like it justifies my fear.

This morning in my bible study we researched Psalms 118:24

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

It seems almost laughable.
Just like the day of Sandy Hook or 9/11 ..how can you rejoice in a day like this?
 


I have come to think, in my humble opinion that this Planet Earth has quickly become Job.
Not Job..not an 8-5 daily office work
But Job as in the perfect man that God allowed Satan to "try" to break and tear down.

"Skin for Skin!" Says Satan in Job 2:4-5 (NIV) "A man will give all he has for his own flesh. But now stretch out your own hand and strike his flesh and bones, and he will surely curse you to your face." 

In Job 2:6 God tells Satan (NIV) "Very well, then he is in your hands; but you must spare his life."

God let Satan have free reign on Job...to do what he wanted as long as he didn't take his life.

Lately it seem like our Earth has become Job. It seems like God has let Satan have free reign on us....on our flesh and bones. When children are hurt..we all hurt.. we all become mothers and fathers in that moment of time...and we mourn..we cry out and ask "WHY?"

 
But....
If you keep reading in Job 11:13-20 (MSG) it says:
Still if you set your heart on God
and reach out to him
If you scrub your hands of sin
and refuse to entertain evil in your home
You'll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless
You'll forget your troubles
Your world will be washed in sunshine

We have always had tragedy...We will have more.. We will have shootings, bombings, drugs, human trafficking...That will always be apart of this world..because there is an ever going battle between good and evil. I choose not to tell "baby girl" about it.. and I do not let her watch it on TV. I am an avid watcher of Dr Phil and I agree when he says that we shouldn't bring children into adult situations. I believe Boston is an adult situation and I choose to protect my child's innocence for as long as I can.

So while I am struggling over the loss of a community, loss of children, loss of humanity...how do I rejoice in this day that the Lord has made?



I can rejoice that there are helpers like Mr Rogers Mom tells us to look for...
I can rejoice that evil will not overcome
I can rejoice that every time something like this happens..the world seems to look toward Jesus for help.
I Rejoice that Jesus will be there to comfort, heal and give peace to those that need it.

I rejoice in my family
I rejoice in the sunshine!

  Rejoice in this day and be glad in it!

No More Apologies

I was blog hopping around and found a blog (please forgive me because I have no idea which blog it was on..if you are reading this and you know what I am talking about ...leave the blog in the comments and I will quickly add it as a source!) where a girl had posted a No Apologies Post. It was cute. I enjoyed reading it at the moment...but later it really inspired me to do my own.

I usually don't post anything about family on my blog. I have my blog linked to my personal facebook page and I'm not sure who all reads it so I don't want to hurt any feelings or even worse invite drama into my life...more than what I already have.

I have had weeks ...actually months of misunderstandings with family and you know what...this is my blog..my space..to be me..I won't go into detail but I think you can get the general idea.
 

I've talked to other family and close friends about our whole situation and everyone has told me to just forget about them and move on...be happy. Now, to be fair, my friends and family only got my side of the story...but I trust them to tell me if I am doing something wrong. And usually they have no problem doing so.....So when everyone you love and trust is telling you that you are just putting yourself and your daughter in a hostile situation that turns into a vicious cycle...why shouldn't I listen and remove ourselves? Why am I not happy about that decision?

 

I've realized after many nights of prayers and tears that I care. I care if my daughter knows what family is. I care that she knows that family is there to take care of you..not to judge you..or to pick sides. I care if she has a relationship with her family. I care that she knows that family is a hiding place to just be you and get away from this crazy world of technology and favoritism.  I care.

But eventhough I care...I can't make them care. I can't make us get along. I can't make them see the world from our viewpoint.

 

I have apologized for what I have done, haven't done, and even for things that didn't even involve me. Forgive. Forget. Move on. Forward Motion. For Lyla. For our future.

 

And then something else happens..It is usually me getting my feelings hurt, our little family being left out of the big picture...or my daughter not being treat fairly..and I go through the vicisous cycle all over again. I Wonder why? What did we do? What are they thinking? How do I solve this? How do I forget it?  Just Forgive, Apologize, and be the better person....

 

But.... I am just about tired of apologies..

 

Why?

Who wouldn't like an apology? That means there is remorse..and things can move on.

 

because they only come from me

I feel like I am saying sorry for everything..even things I haven't done wrong..and for things that I never even knew of..and i'm tired

Let me plug in here and clear up what my definition of an apology is:

• I think an apology is a sincere sorrowful feeling ..a feeling of remorse for something YOU done to hurt someone else
• I do NOT think an apology is you saying your sorry for the way someone FELT because of what YOU done.

An apology is being sorry for YOUR action...not for the way it made someone feel.

i am tired of apologizing for who i am and what i do and don't do...and how I feel

no more..

i'm done

I am who i am.like it or not.

and I am not apologizing for that anymore

No More Apologies!
 

 

Family Saturday Movie Night

I'm taking a break on vacation posts for just a minute ....
beause last night was stinking cute.

Gregg had to work yesterday ....so when he got home we had a good supper *rib eye steaks, mashed potatoes, corn and pound cake for dessert* then sat moaning while we were all stuffed full!!

As we were flipping through the channels on TV...which is rare because I hardly ever watch live TV anymore since the invention of the DVR...we found Beauty and the Beast.

We found right at the beginning so Belle was in her blue dress and Lyla argued with us for almost the whole movie that that woman was NOT Belle because we just took a picture with her and she wore a yellow dress!

That girl knows what she is talking about!!  And she will stand firm...no matter what...which is good i guess.

We really really liked the movie right up until the Beast was mean to Belle...then she made us turn the lights on in the living room.

I had to explain why the Beast was a Beast and that he will be nice her to later and turn into a wonderful prince...so she took me at my word and watched it.

I gonna whisper this next part .......ssshhh
*Gregg watched it with us...probably more intenly than Lyla did....ha ha.....when the commercial would go off...it would be Gregg yelling, "Belle is back on!"**

And if he tell me that one of you told him I posted this ...I will delete this post and call you a liar!!  :)

So of course I had to snap just a couple pictures of Lyla watching the princess she took a picture with....

I love the seriousness in her face!! She is really concentrating...and when I took this picture....I don't even think she knew I was there because she never looked my direction.

And ...here is our picture with Belle in her YELLOW dress!!

The first day of 2011

This is what I did all day today!

The first day of 2011 was a complete Lazy Day at the Brewer House!

I played on the computer...
I got a lot of stuff done for my Tastefully Simple business....

checked my email...a few times

played on facebook

blogged and blogged

and blog hopped

Hubby laid in bed and watched football bowls and vegged...yes I told him he was vegging..and he laughed histerically and said, "Men do NOT veg."

But he was so vegging!!!

Lyla played in her room...with EVERY toy she has...she watched some Dora on the 55 inch...(yes..which means Dora was our 55 inch TV with surround sound and football was our 25 inch TV...oh how life changes when you have kids!!) ...some Mickey Mouse...and bounced back and forth playing with Mommy and Daddy.

And sometimes we would go in there with Daddy just aggrevate him during the game!!

Good Family Fun!!

All in all it was a great start to a New Year!!

I can't wait to see how this year turns out!!

I have gotten many phone calls and messages about my upcoming surgery Tuesday...

Thank you so much to everyone who sent me positive vibes!! They really help!!

They encourage me and uplift me! I know that gall bladder surgery isn't major surgery...but the nerves don't understand that!!

So thank you so much for all the kind words!!

Steak and Shake

I can't believe I haven't posted these pictures before...

well
wait no longer!

a while ago we went to the Tulsa Zoo..had a good time...but all the walking made us hungry so on the way back home we stopped by Steak 'n' Shake
(very convienent for the guys that it was RIGHT BY the Bass Pro Shop)

But I think we almost had more fun or dang close at Steak 'n' Shake than we did at the zoo!

Now the Aquarium in Jenks, OK...that is a different story! That is a great place to go! I reccomend that to anyone!

ok..moving on..here are some awesome pictures!

Kisses for Nanny...i love this picture!!

This is my crazy wonderful brother!

That is one great pair...I love them love them..with all my heart!

How could you NOT love that face?

Ask his English teacher.

This is my darling husband..who is going to hate me for putting his picture on my blog..but hey..that is what us sarcastic wonderful wives do!

Oh..I love memories like these..great times! I look forward to so so so many more!

Thankful on Paper

Last year for Thanksgiving I made these.....

They were a hit..everyone filled in the blanks with something they were thankful for! My mother in law kept them..and told me to do them again this year to see how our lives change from year to year. Feel free to steal the idea..it's a good one!

But this year..i plan on going one extra mile...

with Thankful on Paper.

I initially found this over At No.17 Cherry Tree Lane so I will take a excerpt from her blog on how this all works.

*The 4 Wednesdays (beginning on Nov 3rd), leading up to Thanksgiving, I'm going to write one person and tell them I am thankful for them and why. I will send it to them them that day (or drop it off at their house) and hopefully express to them how much I care for them and how grateful I am that they are in my life. I would love you to do the same.

*The 4 Thursdays (beginning on Nov 4th), leading up to Thanksgiving, I will write a simple blog post about who I wrote to and why. On those Thursdays, I would love for you to join me and write a post. I will link to each of your blogs on that Thursday so that others can visit your site and be inspired. (I am potentially going to do a LINKY, but might just do it myself as well, not sure). If the person is someone you would like to keep private, that is also fine. You can opt out that week or write a general post keeping it private, but sharing some sentiment of Thankfulness.


*It's as easy as that!

Not that hard..right?

I won't be doing a linky...unless I get a request too..i am just going to link up at Cherry Tree...I would love to see who you write to though!!

I know how much I cherish when my mom or someone finds something of my grandma's that she had written..I love seeing her writing..knowing that she sat down to take the time to write that. It is priceless...so whoever you pick to write you..will cherish it!

I know it has been said a million times..that we have so much social media out here now...that we forget to actually "talk" to people...to take people to lunch...to go out for drinks...remember ice cream socials?

now it is all texting or emails...

so take some time this Thanksgiving to tell the ones that you cherish that you love them..you are thankful for them..they will feel blessed..you will feel blessed..and maybe..just maybe..it could be one step into making this world a little better place!! :)

Multitude Monday

Holy Experience by Ann Voksamp is one of the most timeless...peaceful...and simple blogs i have read in a long time!
i love it!
She gives such inspiring words ...comforting words...words that make you stop what your doing and take a good look into your own house...

today she did just that to me..

having a two year old isn't easy...for anyone..
everytime i tell anyone i have a two year old..the response is always "Oh..I remember those days"...or something similar.

I know exactly what they are talking about...but Ann encourages you today in her blog post to take those "oh" moments and thank God for them!

Some pretty precious moments happen during those 3am feedings when it is just you and baby...no tv..no radio..no computer...just a soft light...a singing momma..and a cooing baby!

how precious! what a precious gift...gift!...that God has chosen you to have!

For my multitude Monday i want to start off with thanking God for:
those quiet times with Lyla
the exciting firsts of everything
a comfy rocking chair that we still use today to rock to sleep and sing
a soft lamp light
nature sounds
antique shops for mother and daughter bonding time
moms and dads (even stepdads)
working men that love
lavendar
wood floors to hear the pitter patter of little feet

Slow Down Sunday

so today i am really now slowing down either...

my mom and step dad are coming over to finish laying the rest of my flooring and all the border that goes around it.

So that way i can have MY house back....back to normal!

the past few days have been crazy! and disorganized!

i don't know which laundry is clean or dirty..so i have alot of laundry to do

there is dust everwhere from cutting all those boards..

everything is out of place..

but

i got new floors

which we needed

and i LOVE!

so I thank God!

let me know how you are slowing down this sunday ...

I am a bloggy recruiter!!

So last night while my cousin and I were having our weekly Friday craft night..where we don't craft and just sit at the table and gossip or get on the computer and listen to old music videos while the kids dance in the background....

I was selling the bloggy world to her..i think everyone should have a blog...

it is a great place to vent..to meet people...to find out answers to your questions...get encouragement...

if everyone had a blog I think we would all know just a little bit more about each other..and we wouldn't have to facade to hide behind!

all of us moms know we aren't perfect.....we all know that we aren't rich enough to buy ourselves a Coke swimming in money....and sometimes everyone's husband has MAN PMS...that's life...

So my cousin finally decided to jump in the blogoshpere and give it a try..

so go offer some encouragement..and help get her started!!

My Crazy Hectic Little World

Halloween already?

Lyla and I went out today and visited family that we don't get around to see very often. I love visiting family. You get to get out of the house..but still can be yourself..and of course Lyla always puts on a show! Plus you get to hear drama...good drama! :)

But as I was driving around..I seen everyone already had up Halloween decorations outside!

I don't!

Am I late?

I got get going!!!

so i am off to blog hop around to find Halloween decor and get his ball rolling...

I also got to start BOOing people...Halloween is coming faster than I thought!!!

OMG!

A visit to Papa David's house

Tonight we went to my dad's house...papa david to Lyla....
we always have such a great time over there..
I love talking to my dad....and Lyla loves how funny he is. She laughs the whole time we are there.
And where my dad lives is one of those old timey towns...it has about 200 people in the whole town...everyone knows everyone...
the tornado siren goes off when the store gets bait stocked....kidding
you know what i'm talking about..
so at dad's house every weekend..all the guys (and gals) come down and they all play horse shoes.
everyone gets along...i love it.
i love the feel of family eventhough no one is related!
I love that lyla gets to experience that...and i know that it will be a memory of hers when she gets older.

i remember running into my papa damon's house (my dad's dad) and going straight to the kitchen to the table and to the cookie jar to get two (one for each hand) cookies!
I also remember he always had a lucky horseshoe above his shop door.

how ironic. huh?

i have memories that are burned into my brain...and i love them..i cherish them!
i want lyla to have the same!

I cherish the times i have with my dad.
I cherish seeing him act crazy with Lyla and watching her laugh until she is out of breath.

I love it.

I hope they are sleeping good!

Because obviously I'm not....

I am up blog hopping around....

Geez!

My husband is happy again!

With our income tax money last year we went on a splurge and bought a 55 inch TV. I don't have to have a big TV to watch...and at the moment niether did my husband. The year before we bought this computer...so I got my splurge and his was the TV. Well..we had football parties...he told all his friends..we had visitors over just to see the TV like it was a newborn child...MEN!

Well about about a month ago...we had a power surge...and the TV...

was dead!

DEAD!

My husband...was grieving.

He hadn't watch a little TV in over a year...he said it hurt his eyes to watch such a little TV in our bedroom. He even called himself spoiled!

and to top it off...Football season was starting!

I thought for a moment I was going to have to commit my husband until I saved up enough money to buy a new TV.

We argued and hassled and called and messaged and faxed the warranty company for over a month and nothing was getting done.

So the hormones in me went off on my husband and told him to finally get mean and GO TO THE STORE and demand to talk to the manager and tell him what is going on and that you want it fixed now. ....why do I have to be the mean one? You would think he would be..but he would argue with them forever before he finally done something...I gotta be his pep talk!

So like a good husband he did what i told him and BOOM ...that day...he went to go pick up the TV you see here.

Another 55 inch Vizio..but this one is an LED instead of an LCD...or the other way around...i have no clue. ..and it has a feature on it where you can get a wireless router and your tv will connect to the internet! Now that is a cool feature. It has a higher resolution..blah blah blah...and I can get on Facebook while Lyla is watching Mickey Mouse!!

Now that is what I call a TV!

Woohoo!!

Bind together.

Dear Lyla,

I pray that when you get older that you know the value of "family". I have tried to instill that in you. Your family is all you have in this world. When things fall apart..we will be there. If you  need to cry,sob, weap..we will be there. If you wanna jump for joy, smile, sing, praise God...we will be there! No matter what happens..what you do...where you go...Your daddy and I will always be here..good or bad..happy or sad...we are here! I want you to know that! I want you to know also that we will love you...forever..unconditionally. That means no matter you do or think...we will love you. So many people now a days are distancing themselves from thier family. That is just what the devil wants. If a family ever binds together in Jesus name ...that shakes the devils boots. I am so glad and praise God that we are bound together in Jesus name! Your dad's side of the family for some reason...doesn't feel the need to bind with us. I don't know why. We have never done anything to them. We try to talk to them...try to take them out to lunch...it just doesn't work. The only time they see you is when we take you to church. Now your old enough to go into Sunday School Class..then you hang in the nursery during big church and play with your friends..so now they really don't even see you at church. There is never just a drop by visit...or pick you up from preschool...nothing. Why? I don't know. But no matter what happens with anyone or anything..me and your dad...will always be here for you! You absolutely love your Nanny Carol and Papa James..along with your Papa David and Uncle Colton...they visit...they pick you up from preschool just to hang out...they are very active in your life...and I pray that you will always feel comfortable enough to come talk to one of us who truly love you and are invested in your life being the best possible life that it can be!

Love,
Your momma

Celebrating Lyla's Second Year of Life!!

This past Sunday we celebrated Lyla's 2nd Birthday!

I , like every other mother, can not believe that my baby is two years old! It seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital, waiting for her belly button to fall off, excited to try out the first baby foods. Now we are singing songs, and ABC's, potty training, talking in full sentences.

Where did the time go?

Did I treasure it all?

Did I record everything I wanted to?

I have to say in two years..she is a beautiful, mature, and smart cuppy cake!

There has been hair pulling times and times where I laugh so hard my jaws hurt. Being a mom is the best thing I have done in my life. I know now why I looked forward to it all those years as a child...it is like nothing else.

It is extremely hard but greatly satisfying.

Nothing compares.

I have to admit ...it is sometimes hard on your marriage..it is stressful and you take things out on each other. It is times like these though that you gather the family together, enjoy each other's company and when the chaos is all over Gregg and I  pull together and say, "Look what we have done!" and we bask in the pride and joy that we have raised and nurtured for two years.

Baby Natalie

When I had been dating my high school sweetheart for about five years we made the ultimate teenage mistake and got pregnant. I say "teenage"...i was 18...he was 19..... but we had been together for so long..we had planned on getting married...we lived together....we acted and fought like a married couple..so it wasn't like it was a one night stand....if you can't tell it still kinda irks me that I made the mistake...He was the man i was going to marry...we had it planned...I knew I was spending the rest of my life with him...so I let my guard down...and well...kids...it only takes one time....

but ..anyway....He did what most teenage men do...."It isn't mine!"

We lived together!!! Hello!! We were together 24/7. It wasn't immaculate conception.

 

Then it was , "Well she is just trying to trap me"

 

Ok..if I am trapping you..then I am trapping me too..because I am the one who has grow up and take responsibility for this baby whether you want to or not...not to mention my once beautiful teenage body will never be the same.

 

Now ...being the adult that I am...I understand where he was coming from...it was scary....all of sudden realizing that you are going to be responsible for someone's life...We were in the stage of dreaming about buying land and building our own house with horses and chicken..our own little farm...picket fence and all...at the time...it REALLY sucked for me...I wish he would have been there for me emotionally more...but i understand now...not that it is justifiable...but i get where he was coming from...

 

I didn't have a choice...the baby was inside ME...i couldn't run...or hide....time to tell dad

 

He went with me to tell dad...cause we weren't real sure how dad was going to react...

my dad....being the priceless man that he is...says "Good Job Nik!"

 

ok

thanks dad

 

needless to say my dad was not happy but it was done and he was OK..we started to plan the nursery and had everything on the road to getting ready for the arrival of the little one.

 

We had our kids names already picked out...we picked them out years ago.....Natalie Faye for a girl...and Ethan David for a boy... both the names were family names...Faye is after my middle name...and my grandmother's name on my father's side..... David was his middle name and my dad's name..and his dad's name

 

One night ..I started to cramp. Not bad at first. My dad came home early from work..because he had to go pick up my uncle for some reason...he asked if i would be ok...I said yes...but i wish I said No....

 

I felt so guilty though...already being pregnant and not having a house of our own...not being married yet...i didn't want to cause anymore trouble than i had to

 

By that morning..my cramps were so bad that I had to call my aunt to take me to the hospital to see what was going on....

 

When I got to the hospital...the Dr checked me..and said everything was fine...probably just Braxton Hicks contractions.

 

I went downstairs to leave and my water broke. I was seven months pregnant.

My body would not dialate...I had to have the baby naturally ...I was in labor for what seemed like forever....but however long it was....it was to long..and the baby didn't make it.

I don't remember alot of the details about what happen that day...or a few days after...and some things that happened in my past...i don't remember...

maybe it was all so traumatic to me that my brain just blocked it all out...some one told me that i might have had to much anthestic and it could have messed with my memory...

but one thing that i can still see vividly to this day...seven years later...is her face....her hands....fingers..toes...her hair...her nose and lips...her complexion....she looked like him but had a little bit of me in her.

To this day I don't know why they didn't do an emergency C section ..only God knows...and I am not supposed to question that...I won't lie..because at the time i did...I have always wanted to be a momma...i know i wasn't particularly ready at the moment...but i was getting there...i had grown up and getting ready....I wondered why God would do that me....I had always gone to church...I pray...Why me? Why not some druggy that don't even deserve kids...

But i think that is why i teach preschool now...because i know now how precious children are...how fragile they are...how much God loves them....and what a huge impact adults are to them

For whatever reason...I know that I am in God's hands....and so is Natalie Faye...

I pray for her...and my ex...and all my family that had to go through that with me...and I thank God that somehow all that heartache and pain...led me to Gregg...

and eventhough sometimes we clash....he loves me..and respects that part of my life...and I love him even more for that...

and none the less...meeting Gregg gave me Lyla...and having gone through the pregnancy with Natalie...I wasn't as scared and stressed when i was pregnant with Lyla...and thank God she is happy and healthy and doesn't have one thing wrong with her ..besides her momma's sarcastic attitude

 

So for whatever reason I have one baby in Heaven and one with me here on Earth.....

I think about Natalie everyday...I miss her like crazy...and yes...even seven years later...i still cry..it still hurts..but you learn to control the tears and the pain...and try to find the good ...

I take Lyla with me to visit her and talk to her...I know that Lyla has a special angel in heaven watching her...and that makes me smile..

 

And I thank God that I have a God in heaven that knows all my mistakes, forgives me, lets me start all over again and again........and loves me anyway!

I love you Natalie!

Love, Mom