We go to church...sing...then we take prayer requests....
we turn the lights down...turn some relaxing worship music on...
and find a place to pray
Just you...and God...
talking....listening
I have thoroughly enjoyed these prayer meetings...and I feel like I have gotten alot out of them.
I honestly never thought I would..so I am a little suprised.
To share with you a little of my past...
When I was a little girl...my mom and dad never TOOK me to church...it was MY decision to go. I went to the First Baptist church...
it was the biggest in our little town of 200 people
all my friends went there
they had a summer camp that was awesome
they went on field trips..
and had fun..
but what do you expect when a 10 year old picks out a church..
I wasn't exactly looking for doctrine at that age...
So all my life I have been taught about the Trinity and God not caring what you wear just go to church...how women are to be silent in church......
OK...fast forward a few decades...
When I met my husband..I wasn't going to church..I was to busy being **21** (woohoo!)
So when we decided to get serious...and started the talk about having a family..I told him I want my children to be raised in church...I wasn't and made that decision myself..and I know that God tells you that if you raise a child up in the name of the Lord..when they get older they will not depart from it. And the way this world is...we need Jesus!
The Baptist church where we live now is SO HUGE..that I actually got lost trying to go to the worship center. It is like a college with different buildings...it felt like I was a stranger...I didn't like it.
My husband's family goes to a United Penecostal Church.
What?
Wow!
I didn't know if I could handle that...or turn from my ways and solely accept thiers.
But my first time there...I felt so welcomed...so loved....it was so inviting...
and my first service there I felt the Lord...and realized that it didn't matter what building you were in ...Jesus was everwhere....
So I knew that God knew how confused I was...but I was trying.
and to this day (yes we are back to the present) I am still trying...
There are a few things...that have changed my thinking...
like the Trinity...
I no longer believe in that...
I believe that God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit is all one thing.
Like I am me, and Lyla is me, and my soul is me
All Me!
I believe that you need to be baptized "in Jesus name for the remission of your sins"
Acts 2:38 tells you plain as day
............and throughout these prayer meetings.....
I have come to realize that the reason I met my husband is so that I would find that church...because there is no way that i would be living in the town i am...going to that church if I hadn't met him.
And my husband and I will talk all the time about how many places we have been in the past...together...but never noticed each other. So crazy!
So it makes me really feel that I have met the ONE that I am supposed to be with on this journey of life.
Our last prayer meeting on Wednesday ...I was praying and just stopped to listen ....I didn't know what I was listening for...or if I would fall asleep...but I started thinking...and thoughts just kept popping in my mind...
like...
if I was walking down my sidewalk...and someone noticed me...would they know as soon as they seen me..that I believe in God.
as hard as that is to answer ...No
Why?
because if you think about it....
if you see a woman in a skirt...with long hair...no make up....
what do you think?
She is Pentecostal. And we all know...that Penecostals "get with it"
They worship...like no other religion I have seen in my life!
When you see a Pentecostal woman ...you know that she believes in God...and that she is a praying woman....
if you have a need...get her to pray with you...
There have been many people just walk up to my mother in law and ask her where she goes to church because they are looking for somewhere to go...just because of what she wears...
and I know this is going to be hard for me...and I really don't wanna do it....I have had all these feeling before...I wrote not to long ago about this same situation here but I am feeling God tug at me....when I wear jeans and a Tshirt....I look like everyone else in this world....I don't want to be OF THIS WORLD...I want this world to know that I plan on seeing Jesus one day!
I want people to know that I am a Godly person....
And if you know me..you know that by all means I am NOT a dressy person...
at all!
So this is going to be hard..and I am going to have to lean on God....alot!
But I feel like if I stepped out in faith and did what God is asking of me..that he will do amazing things through me!
and that is worth it all!
hmm...
just my thought before i go to bed...
I love your blog and love the heart that you seem to have for God. It's amazing how He called you even though you didn't have your parents influencing you! That's awesome. I love Pentecostal churches too, but I truly believe what really matters isn't the way you dress, but the way you live. I think when the bible says our beauty shouldn't be in these things, it doesn't mean you can't make yourself beautiful, but that it shouldn't be what you value most. But God made you beautiful, and He wants you to celebrate that! In a decent way of course. I just fear that if we start focusing too much on the outside (about "looking" holy), we might start worrying too much about what people think of us, isntead of focusing of Jesus. Anyway, that's what I believe! But I pray God will guide you and give you wisdom!
ReplyDeletei can see where your coming from...because that is where I came from.
ReplyDeletebut i have realized that called has called me to seperate..
seperate from this "world"
..so when , for example, me and you are walking in wal mart...and someone is in need..and needs someone to pray for them..they will be able to look at me and know that i am a Godly woman...they would have to know you or talk to you to know right off start that you are a Godly woman...
I am not being mean or hasty...and I hope you understand...
You know a Pentecostal woman when you see one...they are seperated from looking like everyone else in this world.
thank you though for your comment and i am glad you took the time to read all of that post!!
This is so interesting...because I just saw one of "those" women- in Walmart of all places!-the other day- and I was so sad because I thought- why do those women...who appear to want to look Godly...always seem angry or sad or mad at the world. The women I saw (long hair, long skirt, cap) look silent, stoic.. and unapproachable.
ReplyDeleteThere I was, in my jeans (as always!), laughing and talking to the cashier, asking her how her day was...and I do not want to sound Holier-than-thou...but if I were a lonely sinner looking for answers..the unapproachable, sad looking women I have seen are not the kind of person I would ask prayer or help from.
But YOU, Nikki- the beautiful, smiling, generous spirit that I can tell is shining out from your words- YOU are the kind of person I would reach out to...if I were a sinner in need of a friend...in need of answers.
I gave my life to Jesus at 17...I'm 42 now. The very thing that attracted me to Jesus was that the people I met who introduced me to Him were real. SO real. My background was Catholic, and sadly it was empty religion. So when I saw people who were the real thing-who loved a little rebellious sinner like me- I knew God was attainable. He wasn't only for those who looked pure on the outside. He died for a messed up little teenager like me.
I wholeheartedly applaud your effort to want to stand out as a woman of God. I just want to encourage you that what stands out to me is not what you're wearing; it is your obvious love for people and love for the Lord. And I'm quite sure that shines through in "real life"- whether you're wearing jeans or a skirt:)